How to help young people manage their online identity
Practical advice for parents
There are pressures teens face online at a critical time when they are exploring and developing their identity. Despite being able to talk to more people than ever before, online judgement and pressure to fit in with a vast number of people can limit young people’s ability to be themselves online.
What is online identity?
Online identity is how we express ourselves online. Just like our offline identity, it gives people a picture of who we are.
“Very few people actually ‘choose’ their identity,” says Jonathan Ellicott. “Instead, it is created by outside influences such as friends, family and social interactions. We behave and portray ourselves in a way we are expected to behave in that present company. If this portrayal of ourselves does not line up with our actual values and ideals, it can make one feel lost and confused about who they actually are.”
The influence of social media
“Childhood and adolescence is a time when young people are discovering ‘who they are’ and explore their identity, style and character,” says Jonathan. “It is a time that helps young people form their own values, ideologies, and dictates the choices they make in the future.”
He says that the internet and social media are an “intrinsic part” of young people’s lives. The online space helps young people find groups with similar interests and tastes. They can “join communities they may not have access to offline, allowing them to grow and develop with the support of those with similar ideals.”
Unfortunately, the downside of this ability to connect is that those influencing young people’s online identity increases from “a small circle of friends and family to a potential pool of thousands of ‘friends’ and ‘followers’.”
How do we create our online identity?
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As such, young people who are exploring their identity will learn “how they need to behave or look to get ‘likes’, ‘followers’ or ‘Snaps’ by their online audience.” The result often is that young people won’t fully express themselves or achieve their full potential.
How to develop an authentic online identity
Jonathan suggests exploring the online world with your child. “Discuss how the online world makes your child feel and encourage them to remember their positive qualities that make them unique,” he says. He says it’s also important to talk bout the issues they might face, including the pressure to conform and negative reactions from others.
“Interacting online is a key part of their development and should be treated as with any other social interaction,” adds Jonathan. However, parents and carers must take the time to talk to children about the positive and negatives of the online world to help them to discover their own identity.
- Discuss what they enjoy and why (apps / Favourite vloggers/ website / social networks).
- Talk about how and who they share their lives with online – make sure to touch on what they would and wouldn’t share.
- Have a chat about what their online identity means to them and how they feel it reflects who they really are.
- Discuss the issues they may face such as pressure to conform or encountering negativity and provide guidance and advice.
- Encourage them to think about the intentions behind what people share and be sure to check sources of information if they seem too good to be true.
- Make sure they have a varied digital diet to ensure they are exposed to a range of ideas that will give them a balanced view of the world.
- To ensure they stay in control of the information they share online, get them to regularly check who they are friends with online and what data they are showing on the platforms they use.
- Doing a regular Google search on their name can be a simple way to manage what content is visible to everyone or remove content that may be incorrect or harmful to their reputation.
Discuss safe ways for them to stay authentic to who they are online. This could be only sharing certain content with people who offer positive encouragement and avoiding and reporting toxic environments online.
- Have regular check-ins about what they do online to be better prepared to offer your support.
- Steer them towards apps and platforms that will support their passions and help them express who they are.